Friday, April 6, 2012

STAYING TRUE TO YOUR STYLE

There comes a time in a blogger's life when he/she finds out that not everyone likes his/her style.  For me, it doesn't really matter what others think of my style, because there will always be someone out there that doesn't like it, or doesn't get it.  These people will also try and bring you down and tell you negative things about your style, or your photos, or your outfits, but at the end of the day who are these people to you? A discussion came up on my HFB group about dressing the part as a Fashion Blogger when attending events. 
Jacket: New York & Company | Top: New York & Company | Jeans: Old Navy | Boots: Fioni
Hair: Mari Ari
As a Fashion Blogger, we feel the pressure to always look fantastic everywhere we go...the added pressure of people wondering what you are going to wear, or calling you for approval that their ensemble is up to par with yours.  Remember the days of just getting dressed? Not thinking about where you were going, with whom, or who would see you. You just got up, put together a fun outfit that you liked and received the occasional compliment or "Where did you get that?"



I dress for me, and even though I stay true to my style, others want to critique it. Why? Because no matter how you spin it, society, people & "they" (whoever "they" is), will always judge you by the way you look. It's really the only thing people have to size you up with before talking to you and getting to know you as the person on the inside versus what's showing on the outside. Stacy and Clinton, of my favorite Makeover show, "What Not to Wear", say it straight: "People judge you based on how your dressed." You may go around all day thinking you are "rebelling", "beating the system", "not fitting a mold", "I'm an individual"...but all of those statements are still defining the way you dress. If you purposely ignore a trend to put on something else, you are still defining your style, because unless you live in one of those "naked" communities you have to wear clothes in the world I'm living in today. Poor Trayvon's style was a hoodie and jeans, and he was judged, and killed because of it.



So the big question is, how are you going to face-up to this criticism? How are you going to respond? Are you going to change your style for others approval? Are you going to change your style to what "they" say is right? Who are "they" to say what your style needs to be? Who are "they" to judge you? Who are "they" to say anything about you. 

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29 comments:

  1. Thanks Shassie, great read and so true! there is a little pressure to look great on almost every occasion as we have taken the identity of a "fashion blogger" I think that to myself everyday, but its so true we shouldnt let others judge us and keep doing what we love in pursuit of inspiring others along the way who will appreciate it, not diss it.
    Love your work and admire what you do as always, so keep doing what you do well!
    love!

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    1. Thanks Monica! I'm so glad you liked this post, and what my blog is about!

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  2. Shasie! this is a very touching post and very truthful in so many levels. Completely agreed with you I find myself sometimes feeling a lot of pressure because we're "Fashion Bloggers" and we're automatically categorized and expected to look a cir-cum way. I really don't understand those people that they feel they have the right to be so critical about anyone's look.

    I love this post doll is truly amazing and so well written. Always stay true to your own personal style.!


    <3 Marina
    Fashion.MakeUp.LifeStyle

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    1. Thanks Marina! Yea I know you know what I'm talking about. Who are these people you know? It's one thing if you ask them for their opinion, but unsolicited is really unneccessary! lolol But if I'm walking out the house and my skirt is inside my pantyhose I need someone to tell me because that's not style, that's "Whoops!"

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  3. I'm so glad you posted this. I'm a huge advocate for individual expression. Just b/c something isn't appealing to your taste doesn't make it wrong. "Looking the Part" can mean different things to different people. What's tacky to one may be chic to another. :-)

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  4. I really enjoyed reading this article!¨Thank you. It's also an inspiation to think about my style-chnages since blogging... maybe worth an article on my blog as well...

    Love,
    Kristina

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    1. You definitely should write about it! And that's great that your style evolves with your blog, mine has too a bit. As long as people are changing because they want too and not because of what others say they should be wearing, you know? Can't wait for your post!

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  5. Ok, love the new layout! You always look so put together and classy! Love your nail color too :)

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  6. Totally agreed on the pressure. I have been **really** feeling it lately (esp moving & just not being able to put myself together like normal...). But to me the focus is staying true to my personal style. That's what makes me happiest...

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    1. Yea girl, I know that's right. Sometimes other things take precedent over the latest look you are wearing! I'm glad all of us are staying true to our styles. That's the only way to be happy!

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  7. Thank you for expressing yourself on this topic. I still consider myself a newbie in with the whole fashion blogging thing, and I already feel what you're saying. Even people who know me personally say things like, "That outfit is not blog-worthy" if I'm just throwing on jeans and a tshirt on the weekends or something. Because we put ourselves out there, people feel as though they have the right to comment, even at times when you're not asking their opinion. That's why I keep my OOTD pics true to who I am. If I didn't wear it, I don't show it. If I wore jeans and tennis shoes that day, I will blog about it. It's me!!

    http://ticka-spoonfullofsugar.blogspot.com/

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    1. Don't you hate that? I even find myself saying to people when I'm in workout clothes "Yea, I know I'm a fashion blogger, I just don't look like it today"...like why did I say that. I feel like I have to "excuse" my dress down days...like really!?

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  8. This was a great read Shasie and I couldn't agree with you more! I've been criticized for my style A LOT. From my rebellion days in high school to now. I've been on websites where people saw my blog and didn't like my style--it happens. But it doesn't discourage me because I like my style and I like the way that I dress and that is all that matters. Further, I can appreciate others that dress the way they want to dress despite what others think. It's all about making you happy. I personally like your style and hope you never gravitate towards or away from anything that doesn't make you happy!

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    1. Me too! I've always been rebellious in almost every aspect of my life and I still am. I definitely push the envelope with my "work" fashions too...hahahaha. It is all about self-happiness and knowing that you can't please everyone

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  9. I am sooooo glad that you addressed this! I am a plus size woman. I read a lot of plus size fashion blogs. Depending on the blog/blogger the style may be different. I see some plus size bloggers sporting mini skirts or sheer tops and bras. I am soooo sorry! That is not in my comfort zone! I also see some plus size women wearing drapier clothes/baggier clothes. That works for them. I wear what works for me! If this is going to turn into some "mean girls" thing than I would rather not take part. When I met some of you for the first time last month, there was a part of everyone's outfit that I took home with me in my mind. Although everyone's whole outfit did not appeal to me, I did not let it make me feel like I could judge and say "that don't look right". If you have nothing nice, just don't say anything at all. This even applies to the runway. Something from Balmain may not look as great to me as something from Elie Saab. It's in the eye of the beholder.

    www.buxomchick.com

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    1. Hey girl! I think in our convo the responses were going back and forth so quick that it may have been easy to be misconstrued, but I don't think anyone was being mean, I think it just eventually got off topic. But you're right if you don't have anything nice to say than don't say anything at all! haha

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  10. Good post! There will always be critics no matter what you do or where you are, so dressing for yourself, embracing and expressing YOUR style is the way to go. That's what makes us unique, we are all so very different. You look adorable. Happy Easter weekend.

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    1. Yea that's one reason I love following independent fashion bloggers because they are independent and each has their own style. It's great!

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  11. You are so right -- Fashion bloggers do feel more pressure to look totally fabulous all the time. However, it's important to always stay true to yourself. I don't wear anything on my blog that I wouldn't wear out.

    http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com
    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

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    1. That's the way to go Bonnie! Don't gave to pressure!

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  12. I have no idea why others put pressure on people on how to dress. As long as the person wearing the clothes are comfortable in them, that's all that matters. Yes some people judge a book by its cover or what a person wears, but that should not stop a person from being an individual.

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    1. @Vernetta - Right! at the end of the day it is only outward appearance, but unfortunately this is how the world works...and I have to say I'm guilty of it too...walking on the other side of the street when I see someone all gothed out. Writing this and the discussions I've had over the last week, have really helped me MYSELF not judge people so much on their outward appearance. I'm guilty too! :-)

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  13. Amen, Shasie. Great post. All I have to say is:
    I was Kish before I was a blogger. This does not define who I am...and neither will any other person.

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    1. Love that attitude! Don't let blogging change you! Stay you! :-)

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  14. Great read! I think this is the mindset of MOST fashion bloggers. Fashion is such a grey area...there is no right or wrong, which makes it an open book for crticism. At the end of the day, staying true to self is the only way to win...you can't please everyone. So, why not please yourself and not worry about the rest! Thanks for being brave enough to speak out on a subject that can be so touchy!

    By the way, love your blog AND style!

    xoxo

    ReinaReign
    www.koutureign.com

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I love reading your comments, however please do not leave comments asking for following swaps. I would prefer that you follow my blog because you love the content and not because you want me to follow your blog back.

Shasie

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